Is it normal...?! i really need help please?

is it normal to still feel a void 2 years after losing a child at 5 months pregnant? when i found out i was pregnant i told my ex's sister, he found me and beat the tar out of me and i lost my baby... they had a hard time with diagnosing as i had just had a baby in feb and found out in may... i started bleeding that night and went to the ER.. they told me there was no heartbeat and that i had lost my baby... however they never told me if my precious lil angel was a girl or boy no matter how many times i asked... when i called the next day (after some rest) they told me they could not find my records... to this day my records are still "missing"...i have this emptiness in my heart now 2 years later.. my husband (now) tells me that i am trying to fill that void and caught myself doing it as well... sometimes at night i will cry myself to sleep or like tonight sit here and wonder what did i have? was it a beautiful lil girl or a handsome lil boy? i was due on new years eve, my baby would have been 2 this year! i get very depressed when i think about this... my husband does not want anymore children and i am wondering if maybe that has something to do with the emptiness also... somebody please help.. how do i deal with this? is this normal? anybody have any advice??? thank you in advance